Onward by Elena Aguilar

Author:Elena Aguilar [Aguilar, Elena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781119364894
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2018-05-07T00:00:00+00:00

Why It's Hard to Focus on the Bright Spots

If you find it hard to focus on the positive, you're not alone. There are real reasons, anchored in our neurology, culture, and emotions, for why it is hard to see bright spots.

Our Brains Have a Negativity Bias

Blame your brain if you struggle to see the positive. That mass of mush in your head is very useful, but it also has a built-in negativity bias. This means that if on the first day of school, 34 students walk into your fourth-period class, and one of them has an angry expression on his face, you will immediately notice and perseverate over him. Why did he come in with that attitude? Will he be difficult to manage? Is he the student that other teachers warned me about? That evening, you'll keep thinking about the one kid; the other 33 will be fleeting thoughts.

The brain perceives negative stimuli faster and more intensely than positive stimuli. Within a tenth of a second, we can store negative stimuli in our memories. Big portions of our brain and neural system activate in response to what we perceive as a threat—such as a grumpy high school junior, a curt email from a parent, or a critical comment in a staff meeting that we're leading. In comparison, positive experiences are harder for us to spot and must be focused on for 12 seconds before we can retain them in our memories. Pause for a second and take that in: Danger lodges itself in your brain within a tenth of a second, whereas a positive experience requires at least 12 seconds to be absorbed. That's a significant difference!

Although this bias is frustrating, it explains how our ancient ancestors survived for hundreds of thousands of years as they wandered the African savannah, risking becoming a meal for a predator, stepping onto a hot lava field, or eating a poisonous berry. Humans evolved because we overestimated threats. Our ancestors were adept at spotting danger, and our brains are still wired to perceive danger. Our task now is to retrain our neural pathways—and this is what happens when we focus on the bright spots.

When I notice that my brain has latched on to something it perceives as a threat (a rustling in the bushes; a frustrated kid; a cranky colleague), I tell myself, With all due respect to my ancestors, there are no more saber-toothed tigers, and then I say, Right now everything is okay, and I direct my attention to something that's neutral or positive—the passing of a cloud, the student who has already pulled out his notebook, the welcoming look on a colleague's face. Managing my brain's negativity bias is a daily practice, but one that has grown easier through the strategies I'm sharing with you (in this chapter and in the workbook), as well as through meditation, which calms the mind so that it's not hijacked by someone's grumpy expression.

The brain's negativity bias is exacerbated by fatigue and poor self-care, so

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